A new kind of detention.

"Hi, Mrs. Johnson?   This is Timmy's teacher.  I was just calling to tell you that you missed  your parent conference yesterday and I am now forced to contact the police."

     Can you imagine hearing a message like this on your answering machine.   While this is an extreme example, it is something that is being proposed by Detroit prosecutor Kym Worthy.  In desperate attempt to turn around a struggling school system with poor student performance, she has suggested jail time to hold parents accountable.  While it would only be in extreme cases, she has outlined legislation that would punish parents who do not attend a parent teacher conference after four attempts to schedule one.  In defending her stance she was quoted in Essence Magazine saying "The government already regulates your behavior when it comes to your children, so this is nothing new."   The problem is it is very new and not very well thought out.
     I fully recognize that the educational system needs to be changed.  My heart goes out to teachers who deal with unruly kids, uncooperative parents and unsporting administration but this is not the way to fix things.  There are parents who truly struggle to meet the demand of daily existence.   Facing jail because they can not get off work, is not fair to the parent, the child or an overburdened penal system.  If you want a positive change, you reward positive behavior.   If you want a parent to come to a conference, why not offer a free childcare while they are there, or a tax incentive for being a good parent.   I know Ms. Worthy you are a prosecutor and sending people is your job, but not everyone deserves to go.

Valentines Day

Another Valentine's Day has come and gone and I survived.  I use the term survive because it is a day that I want to just get through.   Valentines Day is a moment to celebrate love, to cherish your loved ones and reflect on the special feeling of being loved.  In doing so, people act in some very unique ways.   I have seen everything from dressing certain ways (red for those who have expectations on this day, and black for those who don't) to making purchases of  cards, flowers, diamonds, etc.  There are certain expectations that sometimes lead to joy and some to heartache.   These expectations fill the day with pressures akin to taking a standardized test.  The problem is love is a feeling, not an act. 
The way in which someone behaves on Valentine's Day is really not a true measure of how someone feels.  The 'act' of buying flowers, or writing prose, or wearing a red dress (or red lingerie for that matter) does not make feelings of love any truer or for that matter create feelings where there are none.  It is simply a matter of bowing to peer pressure in the same way that a child does not want to be the only one without a cool lunchbox.
Love should never be reduced to simply an act on one day.  Love is so much stronger, and more meaningful than any material possession could ever demonstrate.   Love is the uncontrollable desire to be around someone in the way that a baby clings to mom.  Love is selfless.  Love is the desire to meet another's needs, like a brother giving of his own body for his sibling.  Love is the feeling of completeness that comes from a spouse who supports you, cares for you and allows you to see things that you couldn't before.  Love is the willingness to do anything for another person, but never being asked.  Love is more than I can simply describe in this short moment.  Sadly, Valentine's Day is more about material desire and selfish lust.  It is about people engaging in all manner of things in the name of not being "left out."  I for one chose to express my love throughout the year and try to do so in ways that aren't just acts.